Writer's Problems: Dealing With Your Inner Critical Editorial Voice
I think a lot of what I have come to think of as Writer's Block is really just my Inner Critic limiting me and convincing me that I'm Not Worthy, and I should just shut up and give up on the whole idea of writing. I constantly doubt my voice, even though I know it to be strong and full of life.
How do you write your truths and not feel as if you are exposing yourself to the world? And why does the world care to hear from you? And am I good enough to be writing these things? Why did I not study writing more in college? Why am I so sporadic in my writing schedule? (That last one often keeps me from falling asleep).
I think of all of this when writing in my notebook, as I'm working out some topic that I propose to write as a short memoir. And I think about how, once you step outside of your story, and start to include others, such as family, or past people in your life--how do you write the truth of your experience and yet remain fair to how others figure in that written story.
How do I write about my version of my story and not question myself as to what is fact vs. truth? Whether seen in a positive or negative light, when you are the writer in the family, it can feel pretty awkward wondering what might be the reaction, or comment on your post.
Why do I care? Is this the Inner Critic popping up again and saying, you're wrong, and where did you get the idea that you could share your innermost thoughts about yourself and others? Yes, probably. But I think that is because we all remember things according to how we experienced them, not how someone else remembers it. My insecure self is alive and well, it seems. But I need not listen to it.
I am working more towards writing mini-memoir pieces to share here, in a kind of self-workshopping way. Seeing your work not only on the page, but published so that others can see it makes a world of difference. My Inner Critic gets pretty quiet once I charge past them and write what I want to say. It is amazing how that really shuts them up. I'm not so worried what the Inner Editor thinks, that voice can be shushed in a re-write. The Inner Editor and I think alike in most cases.
To be a braver person through writing the truth about where I have been and how that has made me the person I am today is not only a goal. The longer I go not writing the things inside, the more I doubt myself. Is this something all writers experience? It can feel pretty disheartening to think to yourself that you can't possibly know what you're doing. Being semi-shut off from the world as I have lately been can really make me have to fight to see the bright side of my life.
But would there be an audience for my illness memoir? (Asking for my Inner Critic). I think there's a very fine line to be drawn there. And sometimes I can see the line very clearly. Other times I have to scribble out the words that seem self important, or words that might make it look like I want somebody's sympathy. Maybe that's not the point, though. I'm not really whiny like that, at all.
I have a writer friend whose poetry is so raw and honest and self aware, they make me think hard about how I, too, could get to be that honest! They are someone I look up to and hope to emulate in my own honest way.
We should all be so lucky to be able to write freely and honestly, and to feel good about it as the words fill the page. To be able to hear the Inner Critic, and consult the Inner Editor, and in the end be able to get the story out of to the page.
That's what I'm here for. I'm still figuring out the way the Substack world rotates in the online writing universe.
Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what your thoughts are in the comments.
I want to mention that this post was written on my Android device. I was asked by Substack/Jasmine Sun if I'd like to be a Beta user, and so I'm trying it for the first time with this post. For someone who is mostly at home resting and reclining on my bed, it was so easy peasy to write this way! I'm thankful for that. And I think I can be a lot more prolific here this way. Write on!